Kuljeet Randhawa

"I hope life forgives me for what I have done to it...." these are some of the last words written by Kuljeet Randhawa (dont the words touch your heart somewhere), former Gladrags Model, Television Actress, Movie Star and a felo-de-se. She hanged herself in her apartment, the body was later discovered by a house-maid. She must have been a very successful model, with drop-dead looks but all that one will remember now is that she committed suicide, a successfull career-woman killed herself.

I am not going to chide suicide or how people can throw in the towel so early. What deeply affects me is the fact a person who is so good-looking that she can have any guy she wants, a person for whom money is not evil but a vice gave her life simply. She had everything, yet she went away. In the end did it really matter how beautiful she was or how many products she launched or what kind of money she made?

This brings me to the next question, why do people let go? Why do they feel they dont have any way out? I, sometimes, find my own self at the rock-bottom. A closed one doesnt love me enough or not at least in the way I do, or someone said something derogatory (I am at times able to retalialte back but at other times I cry myself out as to why this happened) or worse sometimes I feel extremely lonely. Has it happened to you, you are in a crowd but still feel that noone is listening, leave aside understanding? You are in the middle of a Tornado and it keeps engulfing you throwing gusts of wind one at a time. No, I am not unknown to loneliness.

I guess what maintains MY sanity is the fact that I want to witness tomorrow. I want to see what innumerable moments in Time have in store for me. Though I agree, not all will be brightly lit, there will be at least one moment which will make it worth living the whole while. I think I will hang in there to see the next moment and to witness how it affects the moment after that.

With due respect, I remember you Kuljeet and I hope your soul rests in peace. I hope you had lived not for people who didnt reciprocate in the way you wanted but for people like me who liked you always.