Lessons Learned

In this sardonic life we meet so many people, face so many adversities, enjoy triumphs at times and failures at others. There are orators who narrate their experiences in beautiful words, weaving a simple encounter into a happily ever after story, then there are people who have abused or have been abused and are here to tell their tales. My experiences in past couple of days have taught me to learn the right lesson from each of them.

It is so interesting to note that a single experience can have so many facades to it, which lesson you learn and carry with you is as important as to have experienced that encounter in the first place. Let me explain by a simple example:
I was driving through this road and a car was waiting to turn in my lane, no one was allowing that car to make a turn. I saw this from a distance and (even when I should have) I didnt make up my mind as to what I wanted to do, should I wait and let that person enter or should I just drive by since there were a number of cars behind me and slowing down would mean slowing all of them down. At the last moment I decided I needed to help this guy so what I do, I slam on the brakes which brought my Jetta to an immediate halt, the car behind me, couldnt stop in time and had to brake and go on to the curb. The car-driver for whom I did this whole circus laughed at me. I remember that sarcastic laugh often and think to myself, why did I do it. I not only jeopardized by own car but all also the driver behind me.

Initially, I took the laughter as a personal insult (here I was being helpful and there this guy is having a wonderful time at my expense), I decided not to help anybody henceforth. Let them wait till eternity for all I care. This was indeed a wrong lesson learned. As a very close person pointed out, I should be discreet while deciding when to help and prepare in advance. And it dawned on me, yes indeed, it is so important to learn the right lesson.

I still err in my judgement but I try to make a conscious decision of learning the right lesson not only from my mistakes but from others as well.

Regret

If you are expecting to read regret in all its obnoxious form over past relationships or broken hearts or life or marriage or anything serious, this is not the place you should be looking at.

Regret - It is such a heavy word with loads of emotional baggage attached. I, for one, dont generally regret or repent what I have done or any of the decisions I picked from a choice. Hell, I dont even remember half the things I did. Though yesterday I did feel why people say only if they can go back in time and change an incident or do it another way or do something so that the circumstances wont be the same.

I have recently started driving and the experience has been over-whelming for my fellow commuters. I always have this lump in my throat when I drive and if its about going to a new place, where I have previously not driven by myself, I am almost in tears. I hold the steering like its the only hope of life. My brakes become an extension of my body and accelerator is arch rival.

I also feel very cold in general. I have the heater blowing at full speed in my car in winters, only yesterday this was to prove detrimental. On my way back home, I went to my Office Garage, started my car, didnt start my heater however (I should have, I should have). I parked on the 5 th floor so obviously had a long way down. When I was nearing the exit I suddenly realized I am cold and need heater ASAP. No doubt I went ahead and started it, only to take my eyes off the path for a split second and hit sideways to a wall, BAM!!! I had taken a deep turn and there it was this big dent on my car !!!! I was worse than having measles all over my body. My poor car just gave a moan and a jolt (though my husband spoke on behalf of the car and man, was it belittling, he should have been in law enforcement).

On getting down, I could do nothing more but to check the damage down. My Miss Nancy Blue is permanently scarred (well, at least till it gets a make-over, which is out of my budget right now).

I so very much want to go back to that brief second in time, where I would take a wide turn and NEVER EVER take my eyes off the road, not even if I am travelling with Brad Pitt. How I regret feeling cold, if only I could, I would......go back in time....