I attended my first memorial service in US on 16th March 2008. It was held at St. Andrews Lutheran Church. The deceased person was the son of my husband's colleague. His name was Daniel. A mere 37 years of age. There were so many young people at the service, emphasizing the fact that the person who departed was too young to have gone away.
The service started with Dan's very talented friends playing guitar. The music was soulful without one missing note. After that the Priest read a sermon from the bible. This was followed by speeches from near and dear ones. There were close friends saying how special Dan was and how special he made everyone feel. He was always the first to help someone, he also went to New Orleans to help out the Katrina victims. His elder brother spoke with a teary eye. His speech was too much to handle. He cried and cracked jokes about Dan. It was evident he was going to miss his brother for a long time to come.
At the end of the service, there was a march, where everyone comes out and you can meet the person you have come for. We met my husband's colleague and she hugged us and thanked us for coming.
This memorial service had a lasting impact on me. It was very surreal and peaceful, just how a memorial should be. I equally dishearten in the way these services are treated in India. The part where I come from, (God Forbid) if you are one of the close relatives of the person who passed away, people will sit next to you and cry deliberately and its customary to cry with them. I think this just steals away the last serenity and respect we can ever give to the deceased. The person who has left is never remembered at his best, which I think is sad.
I have never seen Dan and probably will not know him ever, but that day I cried, I cried for the people who are going to miss him. I remembered him and was a part of his group of friends as much as his best friend. May god bless his soul and may he rest in peace.
